Friday, 20 October 2017


Not just a normal Friday but also my last working day before I go off for a week. I should be happy and anticipatory but I'm grumpy and pissed off.
Last night I was sleeping peacefully  and having some weird unsettling and possibly deeply Freudian dreams but most importantly actually SLEEPING when my poor M, who was on call, was phoned up. About nothing. He was probably on the phone 5 minutes. As a result we both lay awake for over an hour. This happened at 2:25 am. I must have spent the hour lying rigidly resentfully clenched ALL OVER because I've had massively painful and soul destroying back ache all day. Painkillers had an effect - for about 20 minutes before it came back. I can't concentrate on work and I've written precisely 0 words. And I don't even care.

Thursday, 19 October 2017

And again

Nothing interesting happened yesterday. I know that doesn't always stop me, but I find posting the way I'm now forced to do it more annoying, so just appearing to say I'm alive and OK but boring is less appealing.
Anyway. I'm alive and OK.
I'm working and I'm writing.
I'm trying to avoid catching the plague in an office where the staff are dropping like flies, because a) I don't want to be sick and b) I don't want to be sick next week specifically because I have a week off and am visiting my Dad in lovely Lincolnshire. 
Cannot be sick. Cannot be sick. Cannot be sick.
I feel like a zombie today but it's not the plague, just a couple more bad nights. This morning I woke up around 3 and got back to sleep just in time for the alarm to wake me up again.

Tuesday, 17 October 2017

Oops again

I say that a lot, don't I.
I didn't post Friday because I was just so tired again. It was an OK day, with a team lunch at an Indian Street Food Cafe in Cardiff. I wanted some beer with it but hadn't planned properly and drove myself to the train station so had to drive home. The food was amazing though.
On Saturday my brother arrived and we headed back to Cardiff for the day. We'd decided to walk to the Bay area after a snack in the Central Market. Because I have no sense of direction and he doesn't know Cardiff very well we got very lost, which is hard to do in a city the size of Cardiff. We got there eventually but after rehydrating headed back again for lunch. The return trip we didn't get lost, and it took only 17 minutes. That was embarrassing 😊
By the time we got back home I'd walked further than I have for ages - 13 miles no less- and had a massive blister on the ball of my left foot. I'd bought some new trainers that are supposed to be good for plantar fasciitis but wasn't wearing them yet.
Sunday I only walked 5 miles, we stayed close to home and watched the Wonder Woman movie in the afternoon.
Yesterday I felt physical pain at having to get out of bed, I was so tired.
I did get up obviously, and made it to work and stayed awake all day. I also donated blood at lunchtime. Of course because I was exhausted before donating I ate all the carbs after donating (actually it might also be triggered by the gluten sandwich I had to eat for lunch after someone stole my pot of Houmous from the fridge - I didn't think I'd handle donating without food, and that was the quickest and easiest option)
I kept eating all the crap for the rest of the day.
I also wrote some stuff and edited some older stuff.
Today I'm not eating crap. I bought more Houmous, didn't put it in the fridge, and ate it with GF crackers. Apart from that, a GF egg sandwich for lunch and yogurt and fruit for snacks. All good.
BTW did you see the red sun yesterday? I took a rubbish photo on my way to bleed and would show you if the photo would bloody well upload. It was spooky but cool.
 ETA: finally! Red sun over the Queens Arcade, Queen Street, Cardiff

Thursday, 12 October 2017


I'm not dead, just constantly permanently exhausted all the time. Apart from a couple of hours on Monday when I tried to post and discovered that my iPhone wasn't just not supporting the blogger app anymore, but had escalated things to refuse to open it, I basically forgot I had a blog to post on all week.
Why? Well, I've been sleeping badly due to vivid upsetting dreams that wake me up and leave me stressed when I wake up - which is a perfect recipe for going straight back to sleep and staying that way, obviously. Because I'm shattered all the time I've been bingeing as well.
So all in all, I don't currently have the flu that's going around but I feel like the walking dead.

Friday, 6 October 2017

Still grouchy

This week has been long, frustrating and blech, partly I guess because of my migraine last weekend making me feel like I didn't have a weekend, then causing a groggy foggy feeling for a couple of days after, and partly because of a work related matter that I won't go into just in case someone working for the same company somehow stumbled on this blog.
Between the two above situations I've slept badly most of the week and also overeaten a fair amount. Then last night I apparently decided that the best way to have a better Friday was to get mildly pissed then be hung over in the office. Because I am a smart, educated, professional adult woman and I deal with problems in an intelligent and productive manner.
Feel free to snigger at me, I don't think I deserve sympathy either.

Tuesday, 3 October 2017


I made up for yesterday by writing over 2000 words today. It was tough getting started and I was strongly tempted not to bother again but I'm glad I didn't listen to my own excuses.
On all things not writing related I am grouchy.

Monday, 2 October 2017


Today was rubbish on several grounds.
First, it was Monday so I had to go back to work. Second, it was Monday following a rubbish weekend when I was felled by a migraine on Saturday and therefore I spent most of the weekend lying in a darkened room praying for death or at least the passage of enough time to let me take some more migraleve. And therefore it was a Monday where I had a foggy brain from the migraine and the migraleve.
Possibly because of all that it was also a Monday when I couldn't think of anything to write. Finishing the first very crude draft of a story on Friday meant I couldn't just look back a few paragraphs to get started, and I couldn't think of a story I wanted to tell.
The only good thing about today was free pizza at work. To be fair, you can't overestimate free pizza. But today it wasn't quite enough to take away the sting of a rubbish Monday.
ETA  seeing the dreadful news from Las Vegas puts that into perspective I guess. I find it so hard to believe that a 64 yr old can get hold of automatic weapons and walk into a public hotel without alarm bells going off to cause such unbelievable chaos. What an absolutely crappy world.